Alright, soldier, you’re about to embark on a mission that requires precision, strategy, and (most importantly) lubrication. Welcome to Dildos 101, where we break down the different types, the best ways to use them, and some pro-level tricks to take your pleasure arsenal to the next level. Whether you’re a rookie or a battle-hardened veteran, this guide has everything you need to maximize your solo (or partnered) operations.

Types of Dildos

Not all dildos are created equal, and you’ll want to find the right one for your mission parameters. Let’s go through the lineup:

Classic Dildo

Our standard, reliable recruit. Usually phallic, solid, and gets the job done.

Realistic Dildo

These bad boys come with veins, a lifelike feel, and sometimes balls, because realism matters.

G-Spot Dildo

Curved for precision targeting. ideal for finding and annihilating that sweet spot.

Anal Dildo

Smaller, smoother, and designed for backdoor adventures. Pro tip: Start small and work your way up, soldier.

Double-Ended Dildo

Two heads, twice the fun. Great for partnered play or if you’re feeling particularly ambitious.

Suction Cup Dildo

Because sometimes, you just want to plant it and go to war hands-free.

Tips for Optimal Deployment

Lube Is Non-Negotiable

Always use lube. (Preferably Gun Oil lube.) Dry docking is not an option. Think of lube as your battlefield medic: without it, the mission could turn into a disaster fast.

• Silicone-based for slick, long-lasting maneuvers.
• Water-based if you’re using silicone toys or want easier cleanup.
• Hybrid lube options for those indecisive days when you need the best of both worlds.

Size Up Wisely

Your ego might say, “Go big or go home,” but your body will have the final say. Start with a recruit that matches your skill level before upgrading to heavy artillery. Always listen to your body’s signals to avoid retreating early.

Warm-Up Drills Are Essential

A cold start leads to poor performance. Take time for warm-up drills:

• Foreplay first: Build the anticipation and get the blood flowing.
• Fingers or smaller toys: Gradually ease your way in.
• Mental prep: Stay relaxed. Tension is the enemy of pleasure.

Tactical Positions and Angles

Experiment with different positions and angles:

• Missionary: Good for beginners.
• Doggy-style: Great for deeper penetration.
• Riding (cowgirl style): Gives you full control over depth and pace.

Adjust the angle of attack, especially important when aiming for the G-spot or prostate. No two bodies are the same, so recon your terrain carefully.

Hands-Free Ops

Use furniture, pillows, or the wall to support your mission. Suction-cup dildos can be deployed vertically or horizontally. Engage your core for maximum control and endurance.

Post-Mission Cleanup

Debriefing isn’t optional. Clean your gear properly with warm water and toy cleaner (or mild soap if necessary). Dry thoroughly and store in a clean, dry place, because mold is an enemy you don’t want infiltrating your ranks.

Advanced Combat Tactics: Tricks for Maximum Pleasure

Temperature Play

Take control of the sensory battlefield:

• Warm your dildo in hot (not boiling) water.
• Chill it briefly in cold water or the fridge for a surprise attack.

Angle Mastery

Your G-spot and prostate aren’t in a straight line, they’re tucked behind the front wall. Curve your approach, and adjust insertion depth until you find the jackpot.

Combine Forces

Don’t go solo if you don’t have to:

• Vibrator plus dildo: Use a vibrator externally on the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) while penetrating with a dildo for double the stimulation.
• Prostate stimulation: Combine internal prostate pressure with external vibrations for next-level orgasms.

Whatever your mission, make sure you’re geared up with Gun Oil lube and a sense of adventure. Have you had a look at our personal lubricants? Silicone, Natural, creams, you name it, we’ve got your six.